Thursday, May 9, 2013

GRIPE OF THE WEEK #9 - PEOPLE WHO STINK


How much longer do the hygienic well groomed people of this city have to put up with the disgusting body odour of those who don't care about the fact that their stinky nether regions are making more of an impact on the world than they are as a whole?

This is not a gripe about the poor bastards who don't have a home, this is about people who are doing activities to suggest that they have access to shower facilities, a cake of soap, and a squirt of deodorant.

The worst exposure to these people is during public transport transportation and it is usually these smelly people who invade the personal space of those who usually smell like flowers or cold power.

If you don't bother showering after the gym, or after doing physical hard labour all day, or just in general you choose not to wash, then I have the following requests of you.

1. Do not use public transport - you should walk with your hands on your head, the breeze will do you good.

2. If you ignore #1, Do not squeeze your stinky, smelly body into the small space in the middle of a 3 person seat if already 2 people are occupying it.

3. Similarly do not remove your shoes and/or raise your feet to the nose level of seated travellers.

4. Do not squeeze into an already full elevator or train vestibule.

5. For god sake buy deodorant! You smell like there's a dead rat up your clacka!

6. Do not wipe your sweat onto any surface that other people hold on to or sit upon.

7. Do not lean onto a pole that others are holding on to with the damp parts of your clothing.

8. Do not enter any space that does not have windows that can open or another form of escape strategy.

9. Do not hover over another person and drip on them.

10. Apologise to your parents for being such a disappointment to them!


Bottom line is people, this is the 21st Century and although they haven't invented a drug to eliminate body smell, deodorant is affordable and showers are everywhere. There is no excuse to be unclean.

I have encountered other people's smell in every facet of my life and I am dumb founded as to why people who are successful in other arenas, do not pay attention to their body odour.

Some are so bad i have wiped deodorant under my nostrils, and some are so pungent I could actually taste the smell. It's hideous, it's uncalled for and it's time you had a wash.

People of Sydney, leave the can of mace at home and bring the Rexona or Brut with you at all times. When faced with a stinky smelly person, give them a good squirt and say "Purify!" and help save the well-being of your fellow man.

Don't wait to be told, people!

J G S

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